Did not really get a good sleep at all last night. Cried and cried till my eyes were swollen this morning... This is just so me... The very emotional girl...
I typed a very very long email to him. Telling him how I feel, what I think, what I want, etc... Almost about everything. Thought it would be very difficult for him to understand. Because I did not write it in a direct way. Thought he would take it as another letter full of crap.
I am so wrong this time... Asked him to check his mail before I went to bed...
He called me about an hour later. Asked me what the email was about... Who was it from... Then later said he has read it already actually. Could not really remember what happened but we had to put down the phone after a while...
Messaged me at around 5am, thanking me for understanding him. Said that I am good and he is bad. Asked him what he meant by that. Then he called me. Said this is the first letter he read for three times. Even printed it out to keep. He is very touched by it... Said it is a very meaningful letter. =)
Wanted to meet me this morning then... Woke up at 7am. Got ready to leave at around 8am. However, he had to settle a problem with the system again.
I left home at 9am. Went to send money to Auntie Lita first. Then walk around Wisma, with the hope that we are able to meet. He left at around 10.45am. Still came to meet me. I claimed one hour, went to work at 1pm instead...
Went to eat KFC in Takashimaya. Told me all about his past. How his mother suffered... Why is he so fillial to her... What happened to his family from the time he was born till now... And much much more...
I finally understand now why he behaves the way he always behaves. He admits, he likes me alot. The same as how I liked him. But he dare not to promise me anything for the future. Because he knows it is almost impossible that we will be together for life... I guess if there is a chance, he would really want us to be together for life... But...
Am really touched that I am the first person that he bought a gift for. Never in his life have he ever bought anything for anyone... Spent so much on anyone...
Asked me not to cry for him anymore. But I cannot... Really cannot do so... As I am typing this, my tears are flowing non-stop. I miss him. Really miss him. Alot alot alot...Dear, can you sense me missing you terribly??? Wonder if he will call me tonight... I doubt so...
The more he tell me about his life, the more I am falling in love with him. The more I see him as a brave child. The more I feel proud of him...
Your mother also would like you to be happy right? To see you happily in love and living with someone you really love, set up a family with her, living life happily... Is it much more better than forcing you to marry someone you do not like? Really wonder what can I do to make her change her mind...
Have seen the true him today... All the while, everyone has mis-judged him... Feel rather guilty now... Actually listens to people's gossip last time... Should have just trusted my own gut feel. Sorry sweetheart... He could sense that I did not trust him previously... Guess that hurts him alot... Never judge a book by its cover...
At work, received many presents... just opened all of them up... So sweet of them all. Really know me... Bought what I really liked... Almost all at least... =)
Have been indulging in food for quite some time. Where has all my determination to be slim gone to??? He wants you to be slim... So better work on it!!!
Nothing much to say anymore... Just have the feeling of emptiness... loneliness in me now... All I really want for Christmas and life is HIM...
Are you thinking of me like how I am thinking of you now? Are you missing me like how I am missing you now???
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
2:48 PM